Goals are like a chilli con carne

I know what you’re thinking… I’ve come to this blog post for some really solid information and this guy is telling me my goals are like a Mexican dish. (Did everyone else say Arriba when they read Mexican? Yeah, same). 

So let me break this down for you, how do goals remind me of overcooked rice and guacamole?

Let me first explain why goals are so important to have. To start with, a well thought out goal keeps us focussed, a decision to chase something more. I’m not talking about when you are over-drunk on a night out and make the decision you are going to start a business with your best mate. Or when you watch a Netflix documentary and decide you are going to go vegan… next year. I’m talking about a goal that is written down and carefully thought out. One that is inline with your core beliefs and your most important values. Once you have decided on a goal which is inline with your values you are more likely to make conscious decisions which will move you towards your desired result. It keeps you focussed day to day, it means you turn down partying to study, it means making sacrifices now in the effort to improve your future. Having the goal written out, on paper, means you can confidently say no because you have a goal that you know will make you more satisfied than going and wasting money at a club. And, if you don’t know that you will feel more satisfied, at least you know that the pain of staying at home and studying, is far less than the pain of not achieving something important to you

Next, goals are important because it reminds us that we are not where we want to be, (not in a ‘wake up hungover in a strangers bed’ kinda way. More like a helpful shop assistant pointing out the correct aisle kinda way). Goals remind us that we could get better, that we haven’t settled, that the place we are in is good but the place we could be is even better. Little do we know at this time, that the glory, the enjoyment, the satisfaction ALL comes from trying to get better. It’s in the journey, not in the achievement, that brings us most growth and most satisfaction.

Goals also give us purpose, this is different to focussed. Being focussed means that you aren’t shooting in the dark, having a purpose means you know why you are shooting in the first place.  - I’ve always had the conversation with people about passion, and if people necessarily need one. What do you think? I personally think that we may not need a passion but we all need a purpose. 

Let’s head back in time, to when we were hunter gatherers. Our purpose was mainly to stay alive, so our focus was how exactly do we do that? My goal when I’m a member of a tribe is to get enough food to feed my family, so my focus was killing an animal so me and my family can eat, therefore my purpose was keeping myself and my family alive. Right there we have a goal giving me purpose. I can now sit around the fire, eating my mammoth’s foot I have just cut off, feeling quite fulfilled with what I have done. I have contributed. 

This is quite a straightforward and easy to understand analogy, staying alive is a pretty big deal, whether you are aware of it or not. The biggest issue for thousands and thousands of years has been having enough food to be able to keep everyone I cared about alive, well thanks to planes, trains and automobiles, that problem is solved. Food is everywhere, this is a problem in itself… hence the need for personal trainers. (Imagine being an online trainer back in caveman times). 

Not only because we have solved hunger, but because our “tribe” is so big that we can no longer see the direct impact that we are having on it. 

Another analogy now…

When you are in a team sport you have a specific role, you have a job to do, if you don’t do that job then you are letting down everyone around you. Society is the same, we all have our side of the bargain to uphold. We have to play our part and contribute in some way. When you are on a rugby pitch with 14 other men, it is really easy to see the impact of someone not pulling their weight. If your sports club has 200 members it is still reasonably easy to see the impact you have by not pulling your weight, tho even at this small number it is easy to hide away. Now move this to a scale of thousands. Now millions. Now billions. It is a lot harder to see the impact you have on the world when you are just one drop in the ocean. 

I think because of social media, the pool of people we are connected to has grown at a rate that we can not keep up with. Tribes become villages, villages become towns, towns to cities and so on. All creating this large accumulation of people. There is an adjustment but that happens over hundreds, even thousands of years. But social media came along in an instant. 

Now not only is our tribe the people around us, it is the people on our phones, in different countries, with different beliefs, different heritages, different ways of living. All being compared subconsciously every time we open up instagram. Our tribes are now too big to see the impact that we can make. 

“What difference does it make if I recycle? No one else is doing it!”

“Why should I take my rubbish home? No one else does!”

“I don’t need to do that job, it won’t make a difference”

Part of me believes that the easy access to food, social media and the watering down of our “tribes” has affected people to feel like they have no purpose and no direction in life.

That is why goals are so important, not having a purpose is a one way ticket to depression. Not having a purpose leads to you sitting on your death bed asking “what was it all for?”

Now you understand why goals are so important, I will now go back to the Chilli con carne. The Chilli is the GOAL itself. The end result is to be chowing down on the perfect handmade dinner which brings a smile to your face and a satisfaction no other dish could (or to achieve a goal after putting in a lot of hard work). 

To make a chilli you need the cooking instructions and a list of ingredients, trying to wing it and create something that looks and tastes remotely similar to a chilli isn’t as easy as you might think. 

The recipe is the way you choose to get from a bunch of ingredients to the end result, this is the method, the principles, the science. The recipe will follow some core principles, some things never change from recipe to recipe. It doesn’t really matter what recipe you use, as long as you can understand it.

Once you have found a recipe you start looking for the ingredients. Think of the ingredients as what is required for you to achieve your goal. These are the physical things needed. If you want to write a book you need a laptop or a pen and paper. If you want to lose weight, you may need to buy a book or hire a coach to help you on this process. If you want to scale Everest you need a REALLY BIG coat… you get my point.

Then you have the cooking method, this is the things you need to do to make your chilli, or what you need to do to achieve your goals. The step by step process of putting your ingredients together. 

When making this culinary delight you can not miss any ingredients or skip any step on the cooking instructions. If you do then something may not go to plan. Your goals are the same, you have to do things in order, you have to follow the instructions, you have to buy the correct ingredients. One without the other will make your task difficult. No you don’t necessarily need to use mushrooms if you don’t like the taste, the same way no you do not have to cut out all carbohydrates to lose weight, you do what best suits you as long as you follow all the other instructions. 

Whatever your goal is, you need to have a planned out method to achieve result and success. A lot of people say you need to count your calories to lose weight. It is true that calorie counting is probably the most consistent way to do this but if counting your calories gives you anxiety there may be a better way to do things… same if mushrooms make you feel sick, get rid of the slimy bastards. 

When making a chilli con carne there are a lot of different ways to do it, you could have different instructions to the next person. One cook book will say use dark chocolate and one won’t. But no matter what there will always be some core instructions that will very rarely change. Your goals are the same. Follow whichever method makes most sense to you, and one you enjoy the most, just don’t wing it.

Once you have everything in place, the recipe, the ingredients, then cooking instructions. You can now start cooking your chilli. Step by step along this path, it may take a while and in a world where you can get anything in a click of a button it may seem like a long time. But, it will be worth it. Sacrifice the now, for the chance to have a better future.

Just like a chilli con carne you can not wave a magic wand and achieve your goals, you have to be smart, follow the instructions and enjoy the method you use. Your goals need to be thought out, planned and executed. 

But what if I don’t like chilli?